So Faux, So Good by Tamar Myers

Author:Tamar Myers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 1998-08-25T04:00:00+00:00

15

“You can call him back from our room,” Peggy said, and took her hand off the steering wheel long enough to pat my arm.

“Ah, but I want to hear what she says,” C. J. whined. “When our Abby gets started, she can really dish it out.”

“Hush,” Wynnell said. “Isn’t anyone else’s face burning with shame?”

“You mean because they kicked us out? Naw, I’ve been kicked out of restaurants tons of times. There’s not a restaurant in Shelby that hasn’t shown me the door.” C. J. sounded proud.

“We weren’t kicked out,” I snapped. “It was time to leave. Y’all had already paid the check, for Pete’s sake.”

“That Hans can kick me out any time,” Peggy drooled. “His hands are so strong!”

“Give it a rest, dear,” I said. “You’re not his type.”

Peggy jerked the wheel to the left and then over-compensated to the right. Meanwhile the rest of us tried to keep up with our dinners.

“Never put anything past a Redfern,” she said “Besides, my fortune cookie said that I would soon take the big plunge. Did you get a close look at Hans’s pants?”

“You have a dirty mind,” I said. “The slip in my cookie just said ‘Peace is a desired state of mind.’ That isn’t even a fortune, is it?”

“Ha,” Wynnell humphed, “my fortune was in German. For all I know, it really was a curse.”

C. J. bounced in the back seat with excitement. “Ooh, something like that happened to me once when I was visiting Granny Cox. I found this little slip of paper in my bowl of chili that warned me not to eat any, or I was going to get very sick.”

“Did you eat any?” I asked needlessly.

“Just a few bites. I couldn’t hurt Granny’s feelings after all.”

“And?” we chorused.

“Well, I got sick all right, but it wasn’t Granny’s fault. She had just got herself that new pair of seamless bifocals, and was having trouble adjusting. Of course, she ought to know better than to keep the ant bait up there on her spice shelf. If it hadn’t been for that label falling into the pot, the doctor wouldn’t have known what to give me for an antidote.” She guffawed with pleasure. “Antidote, get it?”

We groaned, as much from C. J.’s pun as Peggy’s driving.

“You drive like there’s no tomorrow,” I said to Peggy.

She seemed to take it as a compliment and smiled.

“Speaking of which, what are we doing tomorrow?” Wynnell asked.

C. J. and Peggy didn’t seem to have any ideas.

“How about you, Abby? What do you want to do?”

I grabbed a Triple A road map from a slot in the door and fanned myself. It was suddenly ten degrees hotter in the car.

“Y’all seemed to have such good luck at the auction today,” I said as casually as I could. “Looks like I need to do some catching up. I thought I’d rent that old wreck from the Mushroom Man again, and hit some sales. What about y’all?”

“Oh, there aren’t any sales tomorrow, Abby,” Wynnell said. “Not any public auctions, if that’s what you mean.

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